Ok, just going to do something scary:

$_=pack"C*",33..86;$o='NRCRIMGZLLLCXZBCVUIOR';$o=~s/./chr((ord($&)-13-&f)%26+97)
/eg;$_=$o;s/r/r /;s/l/l /;sub v{$v=ord(substr($_,pop))-32;$v>53?53:$v}s/p/P/;sub
f{s/U$/U$`/;s/U(.)/$1U/;s/V$/V$`/;s/V(.)/$1V/;s/(.*)V$/V$1/;s/V(.)/$1V/;s/(.*)([
UV].*[UV])(.*)/$3$2$1/x;$c=v 53;s/(.{$c})(.*)(.)/$2$1$3/;(v v)>52?&f:v v}s/t/t /
;print"\u$_,\n";[substr qr/(.*)([UV].*[UV])(.*)/i,qw(Just another Perl hacker,)]

and now back to the regular schedule....